Cycle 25

Alternate Title: “How I leaned to stop worrying and love freezing my ass off”

OK, so who here heard that the Met Office (the brilliant prognosticators in England who have twice predicted mild winters for the Brits) released data showing that the world hasn’t warmed 1997?

No one? Yeah, not shocked.

So The Met Office and the University of East Anglia Climatic Research Unit (of climategate fame) last week released data from over 30,000 measuring stations that show that, contrary to whatever bullshit that fat, feckless fuck Al Gore is spewing, the world’s climate has actually been falling since 1997.

You sure as fuck won’t be hearing that during those “save the polar bears” commercials.

As for the why, it seems that the sun’s energy output is dropping, and has been for a while. This, of course, means less warming from the sun, and so we have lower global climates. Simple, huh? I mean, that’s one of those “well, duh” kind of things – less energy from the sun means we get cooler. This is, after all, what caused the mini Ice Age between 1645 and 1715 (the Maunder Minimum) and the period between 1790 and 1830 where it was so cold they would have fairs on a frozen Thames River (the Dalton Minimum).

But that isn’t going to stop those AGW dipshits.

Yet, in its paper, the Met Office claimed that the consequences now would be negligible – because the impact of the sun on climate is far less than man-made carbon dioxide. Although the sun’s output is likely to decrease until 2100, ‘This would only cause a reduction in global temperatures of 0.08C.’ Peter Stott, one of the authors, said: ‘Our findings suggest  a reduction of solar activity to levels not seen in hundreds of years would be insufficient to offset the dominant influence of greenhouse gases.’

Of course. That thing that correlates to two of the coldest periods in the last 400 years clearly isn’t what cause the cold weather. I mean, global temps haven’t increased in 15 years despite ever-increasing CO2 levels, but it has to be the CO2 that controls everything. I mean, how else will they force us to live like fucking animals if they can’t blame CO2?

Besides, they still have time for their models to be proven…

[I]n 2007, the Met Office claimed that global warming was about to ‘come roaring back’. It said that between 2004 and 2014 there would be an overall increase of 0.3C. In 2009, it predicted that at least three of the years 2009 to 2014 would break the previous temperature record set in 1998.

Well, the weather better start playing ball, because they only have 3 years left, so they need these to line up or else they might be fucked.

‘World temperatures may end up a lot cooler than now for 50 years or more,’ said Henrik Svensmark, director of the Center for Sun-Climate Research at Denmark’s National Space Institute. ‘It will take a long battle to convince some climate scientists that the sun is important. It may well be that the sun is going to demonstrate this on its own, without the need for their help.’

Whoa whoa whoa. Hold the fuckin’ phone, boss. Denmark has a fucking Space Institute? How is THAT not the fucking story here?

Anyways, in addition to solar output dropping, the ocean’s cycles are swapping over to their “cool” phase, adding to the problem, even if the AWG whores would like to pretend otherwise.

Pal Brekke, senior adviser at the Norwegian Space Centre, said some scientists found the importance of water cycles difficult to accept, because doing so means admitting that the oceans – not CO2 – caused much of the global warming between 1970 and 1997.

What the fuck? The fucking Norwegians have a fucking Space Center? What the fuck is the world coming to?

‘Nature is about to carry out a very interesting experiment,’ he said. ‘Ten or 15 years from now, we will be able to determine much better whether the warming of the late 20th Century really was caused by man-made CO2, or by natural variability.’

‘We’re now well into the second decade of the pause,’ said Benny Peiser, director of the Global Warming Policy Foundation. ‘If we don’t see convincing evidence of global warming by 2015, it will start to become clear whether the models are bunk. And, if they are, the implications for some scientists could be very serious.’

But in the mean time, we’ll just keep plodding along, doing out best to make life hard for ourselves, making energy more expensive, and generally fucking ourselves over.

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